Final Daze

My time in this part of the world is almost at an end, although I will repeat my promise to return, even if keeping a promise to yourself isn't really a promise becausenobody would really care if you broke it.

Today was my last day at Brunch 'n' Lunch, but my mind is so far away at the moment, trying to find a way out of my money woes, that I barely remembered it was my last day until a customer reminded me. They asked why I was heading back to Essex and I couldn't think of a less embarrassing answer like 'funeral' or 'I've been in New Zealand a year and my visa has run out' so I told the truth, which is is an uncomfortable truth. Losing control of your money, when your debts control you instead of the other way around, is the greatest embarrassment I have had, aside from when I stood silent for a full minute after forgetting my lines during a drama practical monologue assessment thing at secondary school. But that ended up turning out quite well as my teacher said it built tension, like the 'character was struggling to hold something back'. Maybe my financial situation will turn out to be a good thing in the end? It probably won't, but who knows?

So I went about, selling sandwiches to the usual suspects and when walking between offices my subconcious took over and horrible thoughts came through to my frontal lobe, where they stood and glared until I paid them some attention. Like all people I often dwell on the bad side, knowing there is a bright side but not willing to look at it until I have studied the bad parts to the point that even the bright side seems to dim. I managed to depress myself quite a bit by focussing on all the things I couldn't afford to do. I didn't see Ayer's Rock, didn't see the Barrier Reef, didn't swim with dolphins, didn't see a crocodile or a snake, didn't see a koala in the wild, didn't kick a cane toad, didn't drive the Great Ocean Road... the list went on for sometime.

It's a shame, but the human mind is wired to focus on 'mistakes' as that's how we learn not to make them again, although I'm sure most of us can think of examples where that isn't the case. Like how I always have a hangover after a night out even though I know how and why I get them.

It's all a bit deflating, but looking back at the photos I have taken is a great reminder of all the thing I did do. I did see some bloody big spiders, I did feed kangaroos, I did go to Tasmania, I did drink too much goon, I did see NYE at Sydney Harbour, I did work on farms, I saw Dylan Moran, I did go to Melbourne, I did grow up a bit, I did a Japanese girl, I did jobs I never thought I would, I did a lot of other stuff too and I did document it all.

I also met Frankie.

These blogs were a great idea, even if this post is a bit of a lame one. I have looked back at a few and although some of the photos I stole from Google Images have gone missing the words remain and I refuse to change them as they not only document what I did they manage to document who I was when I wrote them and the subtle changes in myself as I have seen and done more things.

The last day at work ended like any other day at work, to be honest I kind of wish I'd just left New Zealand last week rather than keep it in this comatose state for another week. Sunday I'll be flying out and for 26 hours I'll be travelling back to England. I couldn't sleep when I was flying to Sydney just over a year ago and I doubt I'll sleep this time as I try to think of funny things to say when I inevitably get questioned as to why I'm so bad with money, why I'm back so soon and why I haven't got a tan.

Because skin cancer.

I know this is not how I wanted my travels to end and the fact they are fizzling out in such a poor way is the worst part about it. The 'what if' question continues to hang over me and it will be a long time before I shake it off, maybe I won't fully get rid of it but I now know I don't want to know when I'm going to die, seriously, if I'm feeling this much regret because I'm leaving Australasia for a while imagine how bad I'm going to be when I'm shuffling off of this mortal coil forever?

Well, that's a great way yo end a blog post, death. I normally try to end with a joke, so...

Here's the first picture I posted on my Australia Blog

Wow, that was a while ago.

Final Countdown

One week left in this corner of the world. Yesterday I did nothing of merit, but I did stumble upon the 'UK Food' aisle at Countdown...

That's one Hell of a mark-up they've put on there

20p = 39c not $1.05

I don't need to buy that over priced crap anyway, because soon I'll be back where that crap comes from. Note to self, buy Irn-Bru and Fugde Fingers as soon as possible!

I'm looking forward to getting home now, the initial feeling of regret has gone and I'm ready to just get on with clearing my debt, seeing some mates and sleeping in a room without 7 other people snoring. Honestly, it is a sad thing when a young man/woman snores like a train.

So, yeah, that's it for now. A quick note that all of the pictures may disappear from my blogs because I can't afford to renew my Google Storage at the moment.

Phone Home

Those of you on my Facebook will already know I had my phone nicked this week, also that I'm going back to England next week.

The going home thing is a little bit annoying as the only real reason I have to bail on my travelling dreams is money, that you all know I owe so I won't go into detail. The phone thing however is very annoying as that phone was potentially priceless, some very important numbers on there including the lady from Tuesday night. So whoever stole my phone has essentially cock blocked me and for that I hope they get a nice dose of AIDS, that's right,

Not HIV but full blown AIDS!

It's even more annoying that my phone was nicked just before I was going to leave the country, just like my camera was nicked just before I left Australia. Oh well, shit happens, the problem was shit all is going to happen with me and that girl now, which is a shame because I was planning on becoming a symbol of hope for penniless, uncool guys that deliver sandwiches and listen to AC/DC.

Guess which one got her number, that's right, the pink faced one on the left of the picture. So buy yourself a Turbowolf t-shirt and charge up your phone! - Ryan's Guide to Love (Vol.2)

I guess I can still be that symbol, which is incentive enough to get my money sorted the fuck out and get back to seeing the world and more of the women that it has to offer. But it's not only the ladies I want to see more of, the world in general is worth seeing (although I have still seen very little of it) which is why I have the drive to just get home, sort out my debt and get back out there before I'm too old and dead to do anything!

Of course my money troubles won't go away over night, home happens to be a village with no buses and no train stations without driving 20 minutes to get to them, which might be a problem when I have to, oh I don't know, go to work. But I'll sort that out when I need to, first thing will be to sell my hundreds of games and DVDs, maybe even a few of my collectable t-shirts and memorabilia, to start off my new adventure into the world of over coming debt. Not much of an adventure in any way I am usually writing about, but if anything the whole blog writing/diary thing is a great way of remembering stuff clearly, like the time I saw in 2012 at Sydney Harbour or seeing live bands I never knew about before and the first time I drank Sapporo beer and all the people and animals (or most of them, some were only around for a day) I've met, including Frankie the Wallaby.

Any excuse to post this picture again.

There are the secondary life lessons, the less immediate ones that will hopefully become useful in later life, the kind I will use to back up advice I give my gran-kids, the kind where I say 'travelling is a lot like university, but with more foreign people that challenge stereotypes and Irish people that cement them' or 'don't spend all your money on beer, save some for the women' and the golden advice that 'Japanese chicks are crazy in the sack, like 'trying to break it off' crazy'.

I might just get myself one of these so I'm prepared when I start telling these stories.

So yes, I'm leaving New Zealand and Australia, for how long? I don't know, but not forever (hopefully) because I haven't seen as much as I'd want to. But I'll also have to make time for seeing Asia, India, Canada, USA, Brazil, the rest of South America, a few bits of Africa and Scotland. Well, at least I have something to look forward to when I give up clearing my debt and just declare bankruptcy...
Kidding! Bankruptcy is like using a cheat code, one that accidentally puts the game into 'impossible difficulty' mode.

You should have just played the game on hard mode like everybody else

The Ultimatum

It's probably time to admit something, it's probably something you have already suspected for a long time. I have been mentioning job applications quite a lot in recent posts and there is a stark lack of me doing anything else. That's right, I'm broke, not 'oh no I can only afford a small latte instead of a regular' I mean full on, 'owe lots of money to various parties with no real hope of paying them off any time soon' broke.

I was in debt before I left for Australia little over a year ago, but it wasn't too bad. Once the culture shock of just how expensive Australia is to a foreign type hit I managed to deflect a majority of the blow onto my credit card and I have been struggling to make the minimum payments each month ever since. I'm more than a little annoyed at myself for losing control of my finances like that, but I have learned a valuable lesson, so valuable it's going to cost me about £5000, don't get a credit card, EVER! You will regret it and it just makes everything even more expensive anyway because who clears 100% of their account each month? And if you can do that why don't you just not have/use a credit card?

This fiscal issue has always been around, but now it has come to a point, one I must sand down a bit to make it less likely to stab me in the arse soon (You like that analogy? Good right?) Of course to fight this burning money pile I must burn more of my money (These metaphors doing anything for ya?), money I sadly am not earning enough of right now. I have given myself one week to find a 'proper' full time job that will pay enough to actually put up a fight against this demon of debt.

Pictured: Barclaycard

Failing to find a job here I'll be returning home, to England, to tackle the problem head on by selling as many of my possessions as I can and put some reigns on that run away debt.

This took longer to make than it should have.

It will be sad to be prematurely ejaculated from this corner of the globe (another excellent metaphor), but it would be foolish to think it's worth staying, stagnating in Auckland, with no money and having no fun (because fun costs money). But rest assured, if the worst happens and I do have to fly home, I will endeavour to travel to this part of the world again, better, harder, faster and with stronger finances.